MY FRIEND BOB DIED LAST NIGHT

WTF?? Bob's dead. Just 2 days shy of the anniversary of Terry D. being gone 4 years. Dead. Gone forever. So many things are left undone when someone dies. There could be dry cleaning that will never be picked up. Things like that. One minute you're here and the next you're gone. That fast.

Massive heart attack. That's not much of a surprise though but still .. gone.

I hate death, I'm envious that Terry and now Bob know what's on the other side. I wonder if the people you care about are still around you after they die. I don't know. I don't feel any presence. Maybe they're there but they can't let you know.

I loved the movie Beetlejuice. I hope it's like that when you die.

I'm not OK.

I'm not functioning. I kept forgetting where I was when I was driving home from Bob and Peggy's house.

I didn't show up for my jail weekend but I'm in deep shit on Monday. I may have to spend some extra time in jail because no fucking one tried to help me get there or watch the dogs. But if I had went I wouldn't have known that Bob died until Sunday night. I'm glad I didn't go.

I wish I had went over earlier but I was too lazy and it was too cold. I did tell him on the phone today that I was a real friend to him and he should not ever doubt that.

With as much as I've wished myself dead in the last week I realize I don't really want to be dead.

Thanks Bob, I'll miss you.

Tell Terry I said Hi!

I'll see you hopefully later than sooner.

That's all for tonight I suppose.